Swinger Rules and Etiquette

November 26th, 2008 | Anna and Bruce | Educational

The #1 Rule of swinging
“No means No” If you can’t respect other people’s wishes, or you can’t voice your own, then swinging is NOT for you! No is not an insult. No may be because of a mood, a rule, or it might mean the other person (couple) is not ready. It may also mean, “No, thank you, but I’m not interested.” Not everyone will be interested in you, or find you attractive. That is every swingers prerogative. It may or may not be personal. We are all adults, deal with it!

Conversation
Not all parties are going to lead straight to bed. Most people prefer to get to know each other a little. Remember, attraction isn’t totally physical (Hey, stop looking down my shirt!) Remember to converse with both partners. Don’t get too preoccupied with the opposite sexes’ pants! If one partner doesn’t feel comfortable with you, you probably won’t be going home with either of them!

Communication
Learn to communicate openly. Express what your wants and concerns are to other couples. It will make the experience better for both. Introductions: As silly as it may seem, don’t forget to introduce people. Even if you’ve just met two couples, introduce them. You will seem friendly & polite. & everyone will be less confused!

Hands
Watch those hands. Don’t be handsy. Don’t grab other people, their breasts, their butts, don’t pull up their skirts. Before you have had sex it’s rude & after you have had sex its still rude! Being handsy makes people uncomfortable &, even worse, it make people not like you.

Pushy
Don’t be pushy. Let couples proceed at their own rate. If you are interested in someone simply tell them so. Ask them if they would like to get together. But don’t ask them every 5 minutes. Don’t call them everyday & ask to get together. This may seem an extreme example, but hopefully you get the point. It may not happen right away, but being pushy won’t make it happen any faster or better!

Don’t Gossip!
After being in the lifestyle for 14yrs, it’s sad to say that we have to add in this rule! Simply just don’t gossip! People in the lifestyle are here because it’s supposed to be an open minded group of people, so don’t act like you are in second grade and try to spread rumors, hear say, or even talk about your experiences with other couples. It’s just tacky and will end up making you look bad.