Archives for the 'Educational' Category
(Chronologically Listed)
Meeting Swingers Online
As the internet has grown and matured, meeting a swinger online is easier more now than ever. It used to be that you had to magically find lifestyle events through the local alternative paper or magazine by visiting your local porn or “novelty” shop, but not anymore!! There are tons of “dating” sites, and lifestyle sites out there these days. I’m sure you have all heard of the huge sites like Adult Friend Finder, but I’ll talk more about them later.
So where do you start? Well every region has it’s hot online sites, so there is no magic pill here. We personally belong to a site called Lifestyle Lounge that has a lot of Kansas City couples on it. This site is also big in the Phoenix area, and in Minnesota of all places… (Actually the owners are from Minnesota) On the east coast there are other lifestyle sites that are huge with the swinger community.
The kicker here is the really good lifestyle websites are hard to find. Why might you ask? Because these are real couples with real jobs that basically do not want to be found by others outside of the lifestyle. So the website owners know this and they will not advertise on google adwords or in local papers, they don’t have affiliate programs and they usually attract new members by word of mouth only.
So, how do you find these sites, or where do you start? Well, most people end up at Adult Friend Finder… Also known as AFF. AFF is one of those sites that have been around forever and they have a lot of money to advertise. But they have huge issues. Besides being the site that your neighbors might look at to see if you are on there, most couples that are on AFF find local people, then quickly get out of AFF, and move to whatever website all the locals are on. So, the pickings are slim, and usually only new couples. The rest of the ads are…. well… from the looks of it FAKE! Good luck getting most people on there to return emails to you, or to ever meet. So our advice for AFF is to get a month membership, and starting writing… and write anyone that looks like a real ad… ask them what local swing clubs are out there, and if there are other websites that locals are part of.
Once you find where the local crowd hangs out online, you can cancel your AFF membership, and go join the local website. From there you can start to meet other swingers online which brings me to the second part of this educational post.
Proper etiquette is still your best bet!
When you first write to someone, act as if you were standing right in front of them. You would never ask someone in a bar if they want to fuck before you ask a little bit about them, and the same should be true for your conversations online. When you first write to someone, ask them some questions, tell them about yourself, see if they are even interested in you, and not everyone will be, so you need to accept that going in. If they don’t write you back, don’t keep writing them, but move on to someone else. You will eventually meet like minded people that are interested in finding out more about you. Then you can take it from there.
So, that’s it!! Good luck in your search of swingers, if you are in fact looking for other swingers! Just be polite, and remember that there are other people on the other side of those emails!!
Swinger Rules and Etiquette
The #1 Rule of swinging
“No means No” If you can’t respect other people’s wishes, or you can’t voice your own, then swinging is NOT for you! No is not an insult. No may be because of a mood, a rule, or it might mean the other person (couple) is not ready. It may also mean, “No, thank you, but I’m not interested.” Not everyone will be interested in you, or find you attractive. That is every swingers prerogative. It may or may not be personal. We are all adults, deal with it!
Conversation
Not all parties are going to lead straight to bed. Most people prefer to get to know each other a little. Remember, attraction isn’t totally physical (Hey, stop looking down my shirt!) Remember to converse with both partners. Don’t get too preoccupied with the opposite sexes’ pants! If one partner doesn’t feel comfortable with you, you probably won’t be going home with either of them!
Communication
Learn to communicate openly. Express what your wants and concerns are to other couples. It will make the experience better for both. Introductions: As silly as it may seem, don’t forget to introduce people. Even if you’ve just met two couples, introduce them. You will seem friendly & polite. & everyone will be less confused! 
Hands
Watch those hands. Don’t be handsy. Don’t grab other people, their breasts, their butts, don’t pull up their skirts. Before you have had sex it’s rude & after you have had sex its still rude! Being handsy makes people uncomfortable &, even worse, it make people not like you.
Pushy
Don’t be pushy. Let couples proceed at their own rate. If you are interested in someone simply tell them so. Ask them if they would like to get together. But don’t ask them every 5 minutes. Don’t call them everyday & ask to get together. This may seem an extreme example, but hopefully you get the point. It may not happen right away, but being pushy won’t make it happen any faster or better!
Don’t Gossip!
After being in the lifestyle for 14yrs, it’s sad to say that we have to add in this rule! Simply just don’t gossip! People in the lifestyle are here because it’s supposed to be an open minded group of people, so don’t act like you are in second grade and try to spread rumors, hear say, or even talk about your experiences with other couples. It’s just tacky and will end up making you look bad.
10 Commandments of Swinging
1. Never attempt to break up a marriage.
2. Always keep dates unless you give ample notice of changing circumstances.
3. Always keep the first meeting on a “no strings attached” basis, but be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreeable or to give an honest answer if something doesn’t click.
4. Never, under any circumstances exert pressure on a partner to swing.
5. Restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested persons seeking information.
6. Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from unauthorized “name dropping.”
7. Always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance.
8. Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group.
9. Be friendly and warm with your swing partners, but understand that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or “primary significant other.”
10. Always show respect for the personal attitudes, feelings and “hang-ups” of other swingers.
Avoid Funky Spunk!
Written by Bruce
Funky Spunk, now there’s a couple a words that I never want to hear a girl say to me! Whether you’re part of a couple in the swinging lifestyle, a single guy playing the field, or a married man that is only with his wife the last thing you want is for your partner not to enjoy the taste of your cum.
Now being in the swinging lifestyle and participating in our site at 4realswingers.com it is very important to me that I leave a good impression to whomever I’m with, whether it be on or off camera. So I started asking girls what they thought about the taste of my sperm.
I was actually quite surprised that most of the time, the girls would say that they liked the taste of my sperm, one girl even asked her husband why his cum didn’t taste sweet like Bruce’s did. I got a phone call from him asking me what the hell was in my diet! LOL Only Anna has commented a few times in the past that my baby batter tasted a little bitter. So I set off to try to figure out why sometimes my sperm was bitter, and most of the time it tasted sweet!
I started out by altering my diet to see if I could make it sweeter than it’s normal state. I got a few volunteers to be the sample population in my little experiment. My main sample tester was Anna, who was up for the taste test on a regular schedule so that helped a lot. After all this was in the name of science! Well, maybe just in the name of self-gratification, but nonetheless, this was a fun experiment. I wonder why I never got to do this sort of thing in biology during my college days. Just as a warning, don’t try this at home, this experiment was done with a professional cum oozer (me) and some very experienced cum tasters! LOL O.K. what the hell, go ahead and try this at home anyway!
My first attempt to make my cum sweeter consisted of a lot of sugar in my diet, I drank lots of sweetened tea, I ate cereal with lots of sugar already on it and even added more. Everything sweet I could find I ate. The over all effect was…. Drum roll please…. She said that while it still tasted sweet, it wasn’t any sweeter than it had been before. So overloading my body with sugars didn’t increase the sweetness according to Anna.
Then as I’m driving into work one morning I was listening to the local radio station, 98.9 The Rock, and they were talking about a new product they were testing. The name of the product was Semenex. So, I thought, hey there’s something to try out and see if that makes my cum taste sweeter. I went to the Semenex website and ordered some packages of Semenex. About a week later they arrived via our local UPS carrier. I couldn’t wait to try out this new cure for all of us men. I thought my cum would be so sweet that girls would be lining up for sample taste, this was it… So I thought. I read through the directions, which mentioned that I should have at least one orgasm right before bed, possible two then take the powder and dump it into a glass of water and drink it before going to sleep. That first night Anna and I had sex, and more sex, I came twice, and then went to the kitchen to take the first dose of Semenex. I poured the contents into my glass or water and took a drink… well; I tried to take a drink, most of it I spit back out into the sink. What an awful taste! Wow, I thought to myself they forgot to mention to heat the water fist and drink it like hot chocolate or coffee because there was no way in the world someone could drink this stuff cold! Now with my cup of water done being heated in the microwave it was now time to try this again, I poured the contents of the second package into the hot water, then mixed everything up so that it was mostly dissolved, and took a drink. I swear this method was even worse than the cold-water mixture. Anna came out of the bedroom to see if I was O.K. after the second time I gagged from this miracle solution. One word to the makers of Semenex, CAPSUALS! So much for phase two of my experiment!
I wasn’t going to give up yet, so I read through the ingredients of their product to find out that most of it was fruit extract and some cinnamon. Fruit huh? Interesting, I eat fruit cocktail daily, which as you might have guessed it, already contains a lot of sugar…. I often have about a can of it each night as a snack. Was this the reason my cum was sweeter than some other guys?
A couple of days later I was in the local adult store “Naughty But Nice” and I noticed a bottle of Goody Goody Cum Drops. I read the label and guess what? Yep, there was some extracts mentioned there as well. What the hell, I’ll try this too! So, now that I finally find something in a tablet form, I start to take them 3 times a day. Within two days Anna noticed that my cum had started to taste sweeter!
So there it was, I finally found something to make my cum taste sweeter, but I originally set out to see if there was something in my diet that made mine taste sweeter than the average guy in the first place. After reading the labels of the two products I attempted to try they both had the fruit extract in them, so my next test was to see if I could achieve “Funky Spunk” status. I of course did not let the participant (Anna) of this sudden little diet change in my experiment. After all I wanted to eliminate any bias in the test sample. LOL
I stopped eating my nightly fruit cocktail snack, and stopped taking the Goody Cum Drops, and I cut way down on any sugars as well. About three days after that, Anna and I were having sex at home and I pulled out and came in her mouth. She looked like she was about to gag, and then said “what the hell have you been eating?!?!” I guess that answered my question!
I now eat a lot of fruit cocktail, or pineapple and take my little “novelty” pills on a regular basis. So the moral of this story is pretty simple, your diet can and will have a great impact on the taste of your sperm. If you want to avoid “funky spunk” then I suggest including some fruit in your diet on a regular basis.
Oh yeah, by the way, I’m still waiting for that line of taste testers!
Female Genitalia
So, everyone knows what the vagina, clitoris and labia are, right? But how many people really know what or where the female genitals are? Can you point out the vulva? The mons? Or even the fabled clitoris itself? If not, then it’s a good thing that you are reading this article!
But I must preface this article with some disturbing news. The female genitals and their functions are not completely well known medically. During my research on female genitalia I found contradicting information. In fact in the late 1990s the female genital anatomy has been revamped. So, we may all feel somewhat assured that we are not the only vulvar ignorant people out there! Let’s start simply from the outside & work in.
First the female genitalia are commonly, but incorrectly referred to as the vagina. The external female genitals are actually the vulva and include the labia, vagina, clitoris, hood, mons and the perineum. There are also quite a few internal parts: the urethra, hymen, eurethal sponge, perineal sponge, bartholin’s glands, and still parts of the vagina & the clitoris that reach inside the body. (I am not forgetting the ovaries, cervix, fallopian tubes and uterus here, but merely concentrating on the organs associated with sexual activity. Hopefully, everyone attended health class and learned about the female reproductive organs!
: )
Here is a photo and a diagram of the female vulva
Below is the major parts of the female genitals along with they location and their role:
External Genitals
Mons Pubis is a mound of fatty tissue cushioning the pelvic bone and can be easily identified by the growth of pubic hair covering it. This area possesses concentrated nerve ending and woman can become aroused by stimulation to the mons.
There are two sets of Labia (commonly referred to as lips) the labia majora & labia minora. The labia majora are the fatty, spongy folds of skin along the outside of the vulva and are naturally covered with public hair. They cover a layer of smooth muscle and protect vaginal and urethral areas. When sexually aroused a woman’s labia majora / outer lips when swell and open up exposing the vagina. The labia minora are the smooth inner folds which meet underneath the clitoris and look like petals or wings. They consist of spongy erectile tissue rich in blood vessels and nerve endings. These inner lips change color with the increased blood flow from sexual arousal. Some women find their inner lips extremely sensitive and pleasurable some do not. Women’s labia minora are unique as their faces and come in a range of shapes, sizes & colors!
The clitoral hood or prepuce is the soft fold of skin where the inner labia meet. It covers and protects the clitoris (it does not necessarily cover the entire clit). If you pull back on the hood you will expose the clitoris. The clitoris is a complex and unique organ. The clitoris is made up of three parts. The clitoral glans is the shiny pea sized bulb exposed under the hood. It is made up of the small soft erectile tissue as the penis. The clitoral shaft extends back into the body an inch or so. You can feel the shaft by rubbing the mons. The clitoris then extends back and branches off into two crura, which extend down behind the labia minora and are covered by the pelvic bone. The clitoris consists of extremely dense erectile tissue and all in all the clitoris averages around 4 inches long. Which is much longer than believed until the late 1990s. The clitoris is the only organ in the human body whose only function is sexual pleasure!! The clitoris, regardless of size, has 8,000 nerve endings about double that of the penis. Are we jealous yet boys?! The glans actually can be so sensitive that direct touch & stimulation can be painful. Many women, myself included, prefer stimulation on the hood thus providing pressure & friction on the glans and shaft.
Vestibule is the term referring to the triangular area located under the clitoral hood to the vaginal entrance and bordered by the inner lips.
The vagina is a muscular, very expandable tube leading up to the uterus and averages between three to four inches in length. I have read that about 90 percent of the nerve endings in the vagina are at the first third, but it can feel pressure throughout. When aroused the engorged blood vessels push on the vagina and force fluid out thru the tissue creating lubrication. As we all know amount of lubrication varies widely from woman to woman and can be disrupted by hormones and medicines.
The perineum is the area of skin stretching from the vagina to the anus. It is also densely populated with nerve endings and can be sexually arousing in some women. The perineal sponge is a cluster of nerves between the vagina and the rectum. Some women find this area highly responsive to stimulus.
Internal Genitals
The urethra is the opening from the vestibule to the bladder. The meaty opening of the urethra can be quite sensitive and by touch even mistaken for the clit. The urethral sponge is a cluster of erectile tissue that wraps around the urethra opening and closes it during sexual activity. Sometimes the urethral sponges fills with fluid and contracts during orgasm… which is known as female ejaculation.
The hymen is a layer of tissue that partially conceals the vaginal entry for protective purposes. Not all women have a hymen. The hymen does not disappear after sex, but tears or stretches to allow entry. Usually remnants remain around the vaginal entry until a woman vaginally delivers a baby.
The vestibular bulbs are two bundles of erectile tissue that attach to the body of the clitoris and lay beneath the labia minora. They firm up and fill with blood during sexual arousal. Doctors do not know their exact functino and role, but believe they help firm up the vagina for sex. Many articles only discuss the vestibular bulbs or bartholin’s glands. And some make them sound like one in the same.
Bartholin’s Glands are located behind the vagina wall above the anus. Doctors used to believe they were the glands secreting vaginal lubrication. Truthfully, they actually only secrete a few drops of lubricant. They exact role is still undetermined.
Below are some photos to show how different we girls are. A couple of these are mine, can you guess which ones?
The Female Orgasm!
Achieving the female orgasm has plagued, haunted and frustrated men for decades. But it can be achieved & with your help during sex! So, now do I have your full attention?!
Since we have learned that the woman’s clitoris is equivalent to a man’s penis – its almost 5 inches long & starting with the small button that we are all familiar with and extends back under the pelvic bone & splits into a Y and ends with two glands under the lips. We are all familiar with the clit as the little button at the top of the vagina. & We are all familiar with the idea of vaginal orgasms & clitoral orgasms, but what if they are actually connected… one in the same?
The Vagina & the Clit
The vaginal canal itself does not have many nerve endings, except at the entryway. So, why do some women orgasm during sex & others only from masturbation? They are actually several factors in a woman’s orgasm, men you didn’t expect a woman to be simple, did you?) Women need direct clitoral stimulation, but the clit is not just the button, so licking only that button is going to take a lot to stimulate the entire clitoris, conversely just thrusting your cock in & out of her vagina is not going to be sufficient either. Perhaps the best way to think of a woman’s clit, is to imagine a penis that is attached to the body, with only the tip exposed & the rest lying under the pelvic bone. Would a man achieve orgasm easily if we just licked the tip of his cock? Some would, some would eventually & some would just get pissed off!
So, how does one work the miracle of simulating the entire clitoris?!! First off, I should point out that a majority of woman achieve orgasm thru friction of the tip of the clit against a man’s pelvic bone, and thrusting in and out of the vagina help create friction against the underlying clitoris. There are several factors in all this working smoothly: how thick is the skin over her button (the hood), how well the size of the partner matches, and posture.
The Directions:
A woman wants to place the lower portion of her public bone (which is way the root of her clitoral shaft lies) on the fleshy part of a man’s pubic bone for friction. Then at the end of each inward thrust of his cock, she wants to roll her pelvis downward & outward. This presses her clitoris between the bones and rubs it upwards. The easiest way for a woman to do this is actually for a man to lay still on his back & let her straddle him, sit on his cock & rock back and forth. But after she gets experienced with positioning herself this came be achieved in other positions if you work together.
A few things to remember:
A woman needs to be aroused for her clit to swell and her hood to pull back and expose the tip of her clit. Her clit needs to swell and engorge just like your dick needs to get hard. Some women have erectile issues, just like men. Viagra & other such medicines have been proven to work effectively for woman as well. There is one catch, unlike a man on Viagra, it will not help if her issues steam from emotional reasons. See women are always more complex!
Now you know how to get her off, you need to stimulate her “get her erect,” she needs to work her hips and position herself well and she needs to be free of emotional barriers. (The last is of course the hardest!)
Sorry that it couldn’t be easier but at least now you know!
Terms & Acronyms
AC-DC - An individual who is bi-sexual.
B & D - Bondage and Discipline.
BDSM - Bondage, discipline, sadomasochism
Back Door - Slang for anal sex.
Bondage - Sexually aroused by being restrained or the subject of corrective treatment. (B&D)
Discipline - Disciplinary actions, which arouse sexual desires, ranging from mild spankings to painful beatings. (B&D)
DP - Double Penetration
Exhibitionism - Sexual need to show the private parts of the body to others.
Fetish - Sexual arousal through the use of objects or devotion to parts of the body, such as feet, fingers, leather, etc.
French - Oral sex. The 69 position
Greek - Anal intercourse
Hedonist - One who lives only for pleasure.
Off premise - These are events in which sexual activity is not allowed in the party or dance. If members of the party wish to get together then they leave the party and go to a hotel room, home, or where ever.
On Premise - These events are usually house parties or private clubs. You are allowed to have sex in designated areas, such as bedrooms. There are usually safe rooms where sex is not allowed.
Parties - Group swinging with more than one couple. Not to be confused with orgies. Private rooms may be used, but all are under one roof.
Roman - Orgies. Unrestrained multiple sexual activities in one room.
Safe - Male with vasectomy or female with hysterectomy or tubal ligation. (Unable to become pregnant or to impregnate.)
Social - An organized get-acquainted area of neutral ground, such as a restaurant, or dance. Sometimes followed by a party.
Swapping - The exchanging of mates by two couples.
Swingers - A couple, who engages in recreational sex with others who are not their primary partners.
Swinging - Where two or more couples agree to get together for the express purpose of engaging in intimate, sexual relations with a partner or partners other than their own.
Voyeurism - Observing others engaged in sexual activities, in the act of undressing, or sexual exhibitions. The view of an Exhibitionist.
Water Sports - urination for sexual stimulation.
